Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Video of the week !!
Although we all love getting presents at Christmas time feeling just overwhelmed that someone thought enough of us to wrap something up tie a ribbon around it. Don't be fooled there are such things as bad gifts. I would rate fancy socks, handmade sweaters, and money clips pretty high. What are some of your worst Christmas Gifts?
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
Company Holiday Party
This is a wonderful piece of Cyber forward Holiday cheer !! Please feel fre to copy and past and send around... It's funny how office politics today are so funny...
Subject: Plans for our Holiday party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party
will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private
function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!
We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing
along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among
employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make
the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for
employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
_________________________________
Company Memo
________________________________
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our
Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday,
which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those
still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree
and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for
your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
________________________________
Company Memo
________________________________
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2009
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name.
I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that
reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed
to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are
allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and
the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
_____________________________
Company Memo
________________________________
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December
20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and
drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our
Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on
serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you
to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to
sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the
table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill
House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of
concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of
salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high
blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for
diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
____________________________________
Company Memo
________________________________
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to
keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can
sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you'll get your frigging salad bar, including organic
tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when
you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you frigging wierdos can kiss my ass. I hope you
all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The Bitch from Hell!!!
____________________________________
Company Memo
________________________________
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2009
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a
speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our
Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full
pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan
Subject: Plans for our Holiday party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party
will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private
function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!
We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing
along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among
employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make
the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for
employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
_________________________________
Company Memo
________________________________
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our
Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday,
which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those
still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree
and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for
your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
________________________________
Company Memo
________________________________
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2009
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name.
I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that
reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed
to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are
allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and
the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
_____________________________
Company Memo
________________________________
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December
20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and
drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our
Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on
serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you
to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to
sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the
table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill
House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of
concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of
salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high
blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for
diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
____________________________________
Company Memo
________________________________
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to
keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can
sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you'll get your frigging salad bar, including organic
tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when
you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you frigging wierdos can kiss my ass. I hope you
all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The Bitch from Hell!!!
____________________________________
Company Memo
________________________________
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2009
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a
speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our
Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full
pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan
Monday, November 2, 2009
Video of the Week (Mascots)
Why are Mascots always funny when they are messing with people or trying to dunk a ball ?? There is nothing better than a day with a Mascot. My guilty pleasure dream job would be a Mascot. I would totally love to be in a big goofy suit and mess with people or try to pull off stupid stunts. It's always fun when they obviously have ttheir stunts go not as planned. If you were a Mascot what type would you wnat to be? What would be your gags to play on people?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Shiney Things
This is a Monkey Pickles favorite. Most of us love the sight of shiney things they are very distracting and cool at the same time. I can easily be distracted from focused thought from anything really shiney.. or sparkly.. I would have to give this young lady the cake for enthusiasm for shiney things. She might be a little over the top but + 5 cool points for her love of shiney things. I don't seek them out but allow myself to pleasantly distracted by them. Here is my list of wonderful shiney things that distract me pretty easy..
TOP TEN LIST
1) Christmas Lights
2) Executive Pens
3) Women's hair clips
4) New silverware
5) Ornaments
6) Key chains
7) Swarkoskis Crystals
8) Rims
9) Cuff links
10) Any kind of glitter.
Whats your Top Ten List ?
I know Shiney is spelled Shi..... oh sparkles... so cool.. wait what was I thinking about again.
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
TOP TEN LIST
1) Christmas Lights
2) Executive Pens
3) Women's hair clips
4) New silverware
5) Ornaments
6) Key chains
7) Swarkoskis Crystals
8) Rims
9) Cuff links
10) Any kind of glitter.
Whats your Top Ten List ?
I know Shiney is spelled Shi..... oh sparkles... so cool.. wait what was I thinking about again.
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Big Wheels
These wonderful childhood toys got most kids moving along faster than walking for the first time. Very colorful and first time most of us tried to customize or trick out tool of mobility. Placing little streamers all over the place finding something to splash some color on etc. I remember how fun it was to get a bunch of fellow buddies together for a parking lot ride, or playing big wheel smash up slamming into each other. now they have slightly larger ones that adults use to have fun with. If you lose your inner kid then life becomes slower and boring. I give my hats off to Big Kid Big Wheel riders. You weren't a serious big wheel rider until your front tire was all split up. Here is some fun history on these mobile fascinations.
History of...
A Big Wheel is a type of tricycle, usually made of plastic, with an over sized front wheel, that rides very low to the ground. Introduced by Louis Marx and Company in 1969, the Big Wheel was a very popular toy in the 1970s in the United States, partly because of its low cost and partly because consumer groups said it was a safer alternative to the traditional tricycle or bicycle.
The design was quickly imitated, under a variety of brand names. Although Big Wheel was a registered trademark, it was frequently used as a generic name for any toy whose design resembled that of Marx. Marx sold the Big Wheel brand name and molds in the early 1970s to Empire Plastics, makers of the Power Cycle brand, which was Marx's biggest competitor.
By the late 1990s, few manufacturers were making these toys, and Empire filed for bankruptcy in 2001. The Big Wheel brand was reintroduced under new ownership in 2003.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Wheel
So I must say let your fascination with these things a start all over again.
Here is a lovely video original 1970's commercial. My only funny little notice is what is up with the cat ? how does that relate to having fun with Big Wheels?
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
History of...
A Big Wheel is a type of tricycle, usually made of plastic, with an over sized front wheel, that rides very low to the ground. Introduced by Louis Marx and Company in 1969, the Big Wheel was a very popular toy in the 1970s in the United States, partly because of its low cost and partly because consumer groups said it was a safer alternative to the traditional tricycle or bicycle.
The design was quickly imitated, under a variety of brand names. Although Big Wheel was a registered trademark, it was frequently used as a generic name for any toy whose design resembled that of Marx. Marx sold the Big Wheel brand name and molds in the early 1970s to Empire Plastics, makers of the Power Cycle brand, which was Marx's biggest competitor.
By the late 1990s, few manufacturers were making these toys, and Empire filed for bankruptcy in 2001. The Big Wheel brand was reintroduced under new ownership in 2003.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Wheel
So I must say let your fascination with these things a start all over again.
Here is a lovely video original 1970's commercial. My only funny little notice is what is up with the cat ? how does that relate to having fun with Big Wheels?
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Adventures of Jaley Evans
Short note Monkey Pickles would like to take the time to thank the writer @ The Invisible Seductress for wnating to respond to the call of "Monkey Pickles Searching" a new character adventure has been created.
So it begins......
I was traveling by supply truck to a very secluded location. With every bump the truck’s cavity shook ominously. The terrain was very rocky and we were told we were on a perilous back road. Not to worry, our heavily armed confidant divulged, it is heavily patrolled and swept for land mines or ambush.
I had been blindfolded hours ago as to further protect the destination. It was only myself and one other journalist being given this elite access. I didn’t see him but I recognized his voice and the smell of fruit jam. It was Willard Scott, I was in the company of a virtuoso of news reporting. The mood was tense and I stayed alert to every inexplicable noise and motion. Willard, ever the professional, was calmly chatting it up with the guard while I nervously practiced my interview in my head. With every jar he selflessly protected my heaving chest with a nice firm squeeze. He even grasped my thigh when he thought I was slipping off the thin metal bench seat. We finally arrived at location and were lead into an empty metal corridor before being unmasked. Long and wide, it was devoid of character and sound bounced off every wall like a ricocheting bullet. The air was musty and a rancid oil smell lingered thickly. It was an aroma that I had dreamt about my whole fledgling career. I drank it in, like a Russian man gulping Vodka. Willard just smiled at my wonder and touched my waist caringly making sure I was stable for the walk. Thousands of bellowing footsteps later we arrived at the main door, which opened with a moan. The air wafting out of the room overtook me with emotion. The sounds of crumpling and reverberating voices were deafening. Then something utterly amazing happened! A worker screamed uncontrollably and all sound ceased in reverence. Her words were foreign but the tone of excitement palpable. I stood in the underground CPCIRL. The surreptitious Celebrity Potato Chip Image Recognition Lab. The underground location where the hallowed “Potato Chip President” display is being held. I stood in awe in the very facility Angelina, Brad and all of their spud’s faces are represented regally in potato chip form. Everyday, 350 expert Potato Chip Recognition Technicians peruse 300,000 bags of plain potato chips. I was there for the astonishing inauguration of a new celebrity chip. Willard embraced me and tenderly kissed my cheek close to my agape mouth. After intense image verification, the chip was deemed an authentic replica and the crowd erupted in celebration. Today the first ever potato chip image of Lady GaGa was found and in chip form, there was no bump.
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
So it begins......
I was traveling by supply truck to a very secluded location. With every bump the truck’s cavity shook ominously. The terrain was very rocky and we were told we were on a perilous back road. Not to worry, our heavily armed confidant divulged, it is heavily patrolled and swept for land mines or ambush.
I had been blindfolded hours ago as to further protect the destination. It was only myself and one other journalist being given this elite access. I didn’t see him but I recognized his voice and the smell of fruit jam. It was Willard Scott, I was in the company of a virtuoso of news reporting. The mood was tense and I stayed alert to every inexplicable noise and motion. Willard, ever the professional, was calmly chatting it up with the guard while I nervously practiced my interview in my head. With every jar he selflessly protected my heaving chest with a nice firm squeeze. He even grasped my thigh when he thought I was slipping off the thin metal bench seat. We finally arrived at location and were lead into an empty metal corridor before being unmasked. Long and wide, it was devoid of character and sound bounced off every wall like a ricocheting bullet. The air was musty and a rancid oil smell lingered thickly. It was an aroma that I had dreamt about my whole fledgling career. I drank it in, like a Russian man gulping Vodka. Willard just smiled at my wonder and touched my waist caringly making sure I was stable for the walk. Thousands of bellowing footsteps later we arrived at the main door, which opened with a moan. The air wafting out of the room overtook me with emotion. The sounds of crumpling and reverberating voices were deafening. Then something utterly amazing happened! A worker screamed uncontrollably and all sound ceased in reverence. Her words were foreign but the tone of excitement palpable. I stood in the underground CPCIRL. The surreptitious Celebrity Potato Chip Image Recognition Lab. The underground location where the hallowed “Potato Chip President” display is being held. I stood in awe in the very facility Angelina, Brad and all of their spud’s faces are represented regally in potato chip form. Everyday, 350 expert Potato Chip Recognition Technicians peruse 300,000 bags of plain potato chips. I was there for the astonishing inauguration of a new celebrity chip. Willard embraced me and tenderly kissed my cheek close to my agape mouth. After intense image verification, the chip was deemed an authentic replica and the crowd erupted in celebration. Today the first ever potato chip image of Lady GaGa was found and in chip form, there was no bump.
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Beach Balls
Is it possible to be bored in the presence of one? More than likely not here are a few examples you can maybe relate with. When you walk by a huge basket of them in a department store ! When a fellow sibling makes you angry you can wind up as hard as possible and all your might and let them have it no bodily harm. I'm sure you've had the chance to be showered in them at a sporting event or concert. Magnifico. My personal favorite is the Tie Dyed blue ones doesn't matter on the size either I feel like a little kid when eating bacon in the presence of one. Here is an interesting fact for ya: The beach ball's invention is usually credited to Jonathon DeLonge in 1938. (wikipedia rocks) Who knew they have been around that long. Also what a thing to invent huh just sitting around one day. Then say I wish I could make a lighter ball to have joyness with ?? Those little or large inflatable balls are sure to kick any party into high gear when people have their hands on them they can't control bouncing, throwing, or using as a spur of the moment prop. So the next time you have the pleasure of enjoying some time with one make it something to remember.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Nothing
So today I will write about absolutely nothing at all !! How fun is this just not worried about anything specific. I have yet to read any blog or article where they have chosen to write about nothing. Lets see. ummmmm nope nothing comes to mind. Did you know that nothing is a seven letter word and has it's origin in Old English: nānthing, nathing then was converted to Middle English around the 1600's. Converting nothing must have been hard work for the blacksmiths and masonry's of that time our current scientific community are still trying to figure it out. When was the last time you actually thought of nothing at all? Even when your sleeping its hard to think about nothing. Imagine all the work our minds have to go through to just think about nothing at all for alot of us that alone is hard to comprehend. Here are some common Synonyms for nothing: nonexistence, nobody or nihility. It was hard enough to type the word Synonym let alone find some actual meaning stuff for it. What the heck is that word "nihility" its Greek to me but typed in English. Its amazing when you type the word "nothing" into google talk about a good for nothing waste of time but hey it was my time not yours try for yourself if you like the Internet is free to do that kinda stuff. Well I just tried that "nihility" and pretty boring search results besides their was a cool band that I came across with that name wow those guys were creative to come up with that. Well I'm done thinking about nothing.
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
Monday, September 21, 2009
Monday Video of the week....
Well will start a Video of the Week !!! Enjoying all funny of the wall videos. I hope everyone enjoys. In your searching of the web if you happen to run across anything that you think would be good for Monkey Pickles. Please share by emailing the link to the contact listed at the bottom of the page. Thanks..
This is well put together great video-remix to the artist. I mean really you want to take the kids bacon from him? You have to draw the line somewhere don't ya? I would put my foot down also. Sure Bacon isn't necessarily the best thing for ya, but just to quit bacon cold turkey would be a little rough. HAHAHHA This video literally had me laughing out loud.
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
This is well put together great video-remix to the artist. I mean really you want to take the kids bacon from him? You have to draw the line somewhere don't ya? I would put my foot down also. Sure Bacon isn't necessarily the best thing for ya, but just to quit bacon cold turkey would be a little rough. HAHAHHA This video literally had me laughing out loud.
Monkey Pickles T-Shirts (Goofball Gear)
Friday, September 11, 2009
Monkey Pickles Searching...
Monkey Pickles is looking for some creative writers that would like to start to get there name out on the WEB. If you like to write about random nonsensical topics and act serious about it; then please feel free to submit ideas to the email listed on the bottom of the page. Here is some topic ideas to think about..
- Whats your favorite color and why?
- Short little stories about any fictional character
- Traveling to made up locations and what it was like.
- Thoughts on many uses of a random word.
These are a few to start with but any other ideas feel free to use just shoot me an email letting me know what your thinking about and we can get started. Also Monkey Pickles will soon go and launch YOUTUBE videos that line up with community of Monkey Pickles so if you have a few ideas feel free to submit them to the email below. We will catch you all later..
- Whats your favorite color and why?
- Short little stories about any fictional character
- Traveling to made up locations and what it was like.
- Thoughts on many uses of a random word.
These are a few to start with but any other ideas feel free to use just shoot me an email letting me know what your thinking about and we can get started. Also Monkey Pickles will soon go and launch YOUTUBE videos that line up with community of Monkey Pickles so if you have a few ideas feel free to submit them to the email below. We will catch you all later..
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